called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
