I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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