Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
