I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
