I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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