I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
