the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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