You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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