if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
