All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
