yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
