Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
worst night to have a conscience
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
