I wanna passion pit in your ass
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
