I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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