You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
