Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
