the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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