make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
