this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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