What did we do last night that was yellow?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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