It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
