the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
