she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Enjoy the penises
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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