Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
whose ass print is on the piano?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
