There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
