Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's shark week go big or go home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
