how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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