so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
