i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Panties = found
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
