honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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