oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
