I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
