ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
