I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
