so that wasnt chicken after all
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize