garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry about my life...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
