You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
