and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This baby is an asshole
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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