I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
