I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
