Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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