The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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