Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
