yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
