You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
