It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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