When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Michael Bay diarrhea
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
