Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

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(319): View more from Iowa

Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.

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(815): View more from Illinois

man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick

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