it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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