i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
