yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
