Sry I called you an 8
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
