I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
only if we run a train.
done.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
