Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
