Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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