Your mouth is God's brothel.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
