If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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